The feeling of self-esteem is a psychological state associated with your opinion about yourself. This self-evaluation is the key to choosing a partner, making consumer decisions, or carrying out a given activity—it decides about the quality of our lives and what we can achieve. It’s a feeling that can be built—and, as always, we’re focusing on giving you the tools you’ll need to do it. Here are the ten things people with a high sense of self-esteem do.
1. They focus on facts
Not on opinions or judgments, but on the truth. Their point of reference is measurable facts, not their own hidden interests or attempts at manipulation. When making a decision they ask themselves the question: Is this based on fact?
2. They are rooted in reality
They observe the world: others, family, the competition, people, their surroundings. Empathy, an understanding of trends, an awareness of their surroundings allow them to make better decisions and understand their level of participation within these systems. So ask yourself the question: What’s happening in actual, present-moment reality?
3. They stay true to themselves
What they think, feel, believe, and what their intuition tells them, are points of reference when making decisions. People with a high sense of self-esteem don’t choose others over themselves just to get some superficial acceptance, but are always true to themselves. Operational question: What do I think and feel about this subject?
4. They have a rational approach to emotions
Every emotion distorts perception, regardless whether it’s positive or negative, it makes you see the world through the prism of the emotion. If, for example, you’re sad, your brain will pay more attention to things like being stuck in a traffic jam or staying longer at work. These same experiences are interpreted differently in a state of joy (“Hurrah! I’m going home!”) or totally ignored. So don’t make decisions under the influence of emotions and don’t identify with them. Observe them without judgement instead.
5. They make decisions by themselves
Because no one is better than you at making decisions that concern you, it’s key to make them by yourself. At the same time success builds your feeling of self-esteem while you take responsibility for your mistakes and learn from them. Both elements make you more effective and lead you to become the captain of your own destiny.
6. They do things for others
Every human problem functions within a scale and regardless of culture, gender, or age, is identical. Rejection hurts a Brazilian just as much as a Pole and infidelity hurts both men as much as women. The only difference is awareness of the scale of the problem you want to solve. If you can solve the problem for yourself then you’ll potentially be the only customer of this emotional profit. But if you share the problem with others then you’ll save them stress. If you inform the world about it (macro-scale), you’ll have a bigger audience. Question: How can I solve a problem shared by a billion people?
7. They think big
The bigger the problem the more there is to learn. We don’t learn from success (these only inform us that we’re headed in the right direction) but from failures. That’s why trying to solve the biggest problems means the biggest development: confronting fear gives strength, motivation builds the will, the lessons learned become a value for others who start to choose you as a leader because you can do things that they don’t know how to do but need done. What problems do Polish people suffer from?
8. They don’t live the life of others
They don’t hate, they don’t worry about what others are thinking, they don’t compare themselves to others (but they do get inspiration from others), they don’t waste time on arguments and proving who’s right, they don’t run away from life, they’re not interested in gossip or empty emotions. They focus on themselves because they’re able to help others by developing themselves. They are guided by the questions: What do I want to achieve? How can I change the world? What do I feel?
9. They’re always learning
Because the world is changing and they’re smarter than they once were. Because what worked yesterday isn’t enough for today. Because what was good before no longer is. Because they change themselves in order to realize their potential instead of standing still and fighting with the undeniable necessity of letting go. Because holding on to what they know limits them. After all, intelligence is always waiting in a different point of view.
10. They create themselves
Because it’s the only path to self-realization. They step outside the world of cultural limitations, cut the umbilical chord as adults and take charge of their own life. They learn the rules of the systems in which they function and use them to improve themselves and become captains of their own destiny. Their only fate is their plans, their only karma is reality, the judgments of God are their will, they define every life situation. People with a high sense of self-esteem are always asking: Who do I have to become to fulfill my life’s purpose?